there’s time when i really want to know someone, want to be his friend, knowing that he don’t open himself to people around him, feeling not worthy, feeling insecure, i tried to make him feel better, to bring him out from his wall of defense, thinking that he’s someone special that will listen, and believed that he know i truly want to be his friends.
i’m trying to let things go slowly want to understand him better, but with all the insecurity he felt, he think im the kind of person that he most afraid of, cannot be trust. I talk to anyone freely i don’t seems to have emotion on the surface, the only time i looked like i have a soul is when no on can see me, when im just here all alone with my phone, i can text like a friend that sounds like i care.
it’s not my thing to say emotional stuff face to face, everytime i tried to do that, i often tear up when i do so. even when just explaining what my sketches means to lecturer make me cried. because of that i don’t like to talk seriously when im around people, i don’t like to say what’s deep in my mind out loud cause i dont want anyone saw me with tear. i don’t want to show that side of me to people.
there’s nothing i can say as it’s true about what he said. i sounds sincere while i replied the text but he see nothing while im outside. and literally just shut me down instantly@2 days ago with 1 note