OMG so I just figured out the word “hurt”
it’s past, present and future
you will be hurt
you are hurt
you were hurt
BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS
you poetic little shit
it’s because… it’s an adjective… …
you will be stupid
you are stupid
you were stupid
(via jaykaylee)@2 weeks ago with 463967 notes
not everything is about you, everyone have their own fucking life they dont live just for you sake. what i say or what he said or what she said is not necessarily to be about you. time to grow up don’t you think?@2 weeks ago with 2 notes
so much imagination, so much drama, so much stories, so much pattern@1 month ago
there’s time when i really want to know someone, want to be his friend, knowing that he don’t open himself to people around him, feeling not worthy, feeling insecure, i tried to make him feel better, to bring him out from his wall of defense, thinking that he’s someone special that will listen, and believed that he know i truly want to be his friends.
i’m trying to let things go slowly want to understand him better, but with all the insecurity he felt, he think im the kind of person that he most afraid of, cannot be trust. I talk to anyone freely i don’t seems to have emotion on the surface, the only time i looked like i have a soul is when no on can see me, when im just here all alone with my phone, i can text like a friend that sounds like i care.
it’s not my thing to say emotional stuff face to face, everytime i tried to do that, i often tear up when i do so. even when just explaining what my sketches means to lecturer make me cried. because of that i don’t like to talk seriously when im around people, i don’t like to say what’s deep in my mind out loud cause i dont want anyone saw me with tear. i don’t want to show that side of me to people.
there’s nothing i can say as it’s true about what he said. i sounds sincere while i replied the text but he see nothing while im outside. and literally just shut me down instantly@1 month ago with 1 note
I don’t know who the fuck you think you are and had the fucking nerve to go around tell people that we like each other. What makes you fucking think that. Seriously had it enough. You want tell people you like me then alright go on I don’t give a fuck. But you had the nerve to tell people I’m gay and had feeling for you? That we have feeling for each other it’s just because of timing problem so we can’t be together? Oh guess what I don’t like you. And day by day you do things that disgusted me more and more and congratulations you officially make me start to hate you. I don’t give a fuck about friendship between us anymore. If you want to end it the fine it’s my pleasure. You go around tell people I’m gay go around tell people stories that only exist in your own mind. Does that really make you feel better. What kind of attention you want get from all this. Let’s say everyone listen to you and say we like each other. Do you think what people think will affect how disturbing you are to me now? Didn’t you said you don’t give a fuck anymore don’t want to care anymore. Then stop fucking tell stories about we fall for each other but because of some random ass fucking time that only exist in your own world makes us cannot be together. If you want to get attention then go on. Go find someone to talk bout how sad you are. But don’t fucking mention me because I don’t want to live in your disgusting fantasy.
Give you tiny bit of respect keep that shit down for you and you want to tell the whole world you like me? Does the whole world know will give me urge to accept you? I don’t fucking think so. Stop trying to do anything just like what you fucking said. just ignore me avoid me avoid every fucking shit. Don’t even think about shit like there will be the soap drama scene that everything change when we sit down and talk and a hug and whatever the shit just fucking stop. All I can see from you now is that fucking mouth that can’t stop telling people about everything you know and think that you have the right to do so. I don’t live for your sake what you think is not what I think. Fucking grow up now and learn that no body give a fuck about every single drama scene appear in your head.
I say it now and i wont say it again. Stop trying what you are trying to do. I don’t give a fuck about anything that are related to you. Congratulations I officially have feeling towards you now, I. Hate. You.@1 week ago with 1 note
what’s the points to explain if you already have your own answer, if you already stand still to show how firm you are cause you think you know what you’re doing. everything i said you will find a way to interpret it to become im the one did wrong. Do i need to be hurt by your word over and over again? i’m not a kid i know how to think i know how to feel. im might not be as simple as i am while i met you but to give you fucking space i try to be simple i try to accommodate you i try my fucking best to not let you feel stress i didn’t force you to do anything. and now suddenly im fucked up? well right im fucked up, fucked up to accommodate you and listen all the things you said and be the simple guy. well guess what, i had enough of it. you’re not the only problem i have to deal with.my fucking family problem is going on every fucking day. and i have to sit here listen people to said that i like them i had feeling for them.NO I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT. i dont have feeling for anyone of them, and now you’re one of them.
ON THE OTHER FUCKING HAND, maybe the slightly better post i write make anyone of you think it’s talking about anyone of you but NO. don’t think so fucking much, stop thinking everything is bout yourself. things happen things changed, something happened something don’t, life goes on, get a fucking life and stop thinking i had feeling for you people, never did, never will. it’s not even matter of time it’s fucking matter of personality. if i had feeling to anyone i would tell him, but definitely not ANYONE OF YOU.@2 weeks ago
finally let go of the insecure, end it not exactly the way i want it, but it’s fine. keep quiet about what i felt most of the time, how much it hurts me, how much it makes me feeling down for weeks. guess it’s not going the way i want, might be my fault tho, since i had feeling toward other person. but i dont know how can i stand it when the trust i get is getting lesser and lesser, maybe for you it means nothing but i dont know how to be alright anymore like that. finally let it go after months of thinking bout it over and over. guess this is it.@2 weeks ago with 1 note
stop trying and stop talking. easiest solution to anything. things that are not meant to be will no happen, give you a tiny bit of respect and you throw it away, talk more and create all your fairy tales and the more disgusted i will be. get a life, no means no@1 month ago
from the beginning i don’t tell people i’m available. i don’t tell anyone wait for me to be with them. people confess, i listen. they said let’s be friends, then make sure it’s just friends. in their heart they think it’s the first step to get into a relationship. be friends, and they slowly and slowly trying to cross the border line of friendship, thinking that it’s a step closer to the relationship. turns out it’s the other way round.
learn when to stop. try to come a step closer, then i will move back two step, there’s never an ‘almost there’. Things that can be said will be lesser, no hard feeling for you to take because of things i said. no actively look for you all the time as no fake hope is given. i approach sometimes, but not all the time. it’s not ones duty to approach all the time, to keep a friendship there.
anyone can think that they did a lot for me, i would realise and i will realise. and hoping for something in returns, but same goes for me, i did a lot for the person i like, too, the person that did a lot for me. even tho with the insecure i felt, doesn’t change the fact that he’s the one give me the feeling i want.
when the impression of someone collapse completely, there’s no way to rebuild it. and i’m not going to be the one to repair it before it collapse.@1 month ago with 2 notes